What is wrong with adult children living at home?

[PirateJack]

I have been reading and thinking a lot lately about the stigma of adult children living at home with their parents in South Africa and I guess the world actually.

 

Personally, my parents and I had a rocky relations when I lived with them, but I moved out during college and our relationship has drastically improved.

 

However, I can see that if you have a good relationship with your family, it could be a good thing to stay at home. This would only be beneficial if the adult child was working, contributed to rent and living expenses such as utilities and groceries, helped around the house, and generally contributed to the family and the home.

 

So, both adult children and parents can benefit financially and by other means with this type of arrangement.

 

I know that in many cultures it is the norm. So why is there such a push to get children out of the home in our society?

[Sebulba]

If i had to take a guess I would say that pushing your children to do their own thing would hopefully encourage them to take on more responsibility and to learn how the world really works. e.g. Missing a rent payment for month or so with your parents is not such a big deal, doing the same with rental company could put you in some hot soup.

[Spreadsheet Ranger]

I see it as a way for the child to avoid growing up. There's no need to get a "real" job, since "rent" is usually pretty low, "food" is usually pretty low (just special items), car expenses can be low (borrows the parent's car and only pays gas for what he/she uses, no insurance), cell phone pretty low (family plan) and usually utilities aren't part of the deal. That means he/she can get by making a few Ks a month.

 

But what happens when the parent dies, or moves, or can't support this? Then this "adult-child" must grow up and usually can't cope.

 

So I think it's a bad idea. Now, if it was a compound, with bills all split equally, a separate living quarter (like a house) for each, etc, then I think it would be more ok.

[Okty]

Agree with the above posts, but on the other hand, it could be great for the child's financials.

 

If the child has started working, then with the low living expenditure (rent, food etc), they can start saving a lot more vs when they had to pay for higher rent etc. So, after a few years of this saving, they would have a great investments/assets  to further grow. They can then move out to their own place, since by then they would also have found their feet in their career etc.

 

Other thing is, if they are more entrepreneurial inclined, living at home will help/assist them in setting up business ventures etc, and hopefully become successful at it. Much easier to start businesses when you don't have to worry about accommodation and food.

 

Of course, the above is only true if the child is driven and has already financial and business know how.

[AstroTurf]

Some times it works, other times it does not.

 

My Sister and husband as an example have been "given" her husbands parents house. The parents have moved into the granny flat.

They are paying for electricity and all the rest but there is no rent.

Everybody wins.

 

Oh, except that her husbands brother also lives there in an outside room, rent and expenses free, works casually and does what he wants, when he wants, including raiding their fridge.

[Okty]

Some times it works, other times it does not.

 

My Sister and husband as an example have been "given" her husbands parents house. The parents have moved into the granny flat.

They are paying for electricity and all the rest but there is no rent.

Everybody wins.

 

Oh, except that her husbands brother also lives there in an outside room, rent and expenses free, works casually and does what he wants, when he wants, including raiding their fridge.

Ja no, see, the brother is just being a parasite.

 

If you don't contribute, or at least have some plan, then you get kicked to the curb.