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Spreadsheet Ranger

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This is a pretty common forum game, so maybe a few of you already know what it is. 

Basically, the first person makes a wish, then the next person grants the wish, but with some kind of loophole. Then the second person makes their own wish, and the next person corrupts it, and so on. 

Poster 1: "I wish for a taco!"
Poster 2: "Granted, but your mouth falls off so you can't eat it." 
"I wish for a monkey to be my man-servant!"
Poster 3: "Granted, as a matter of fact, you get 20, but you are a tyrant as a master, and they start a monkey man-servant uprising and rebel against your harsh dictatorship." 
"I wish for..."
And so on...


I will start, 

I wish I had a photographic memory.

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